Their Fault, But My Pride
Don't allow their sin to create sin in you.
6/13/20243 min read
It’s so interesting how we frustrate the grace of God sometimes.
How we play down the bruises we have our caused Savior. Meanwhile, we over-exaggerate the bruises others have caused us. We so quickly expect our Heavenly Father to lovingly forgive and restore us. Yet, we hold a higher standard for forgiveness and restoration for those around us. We set the bar higher than our Lord many times out of our own pride and need for satisfaction over our offenders.
“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”
James 4:6 KJV
Recently someone I considered a friend exposed a minor detail of my life because they disagreed with it. It wasn’t handled Biblically, but I will give them the benefit of the doubt. I assume they thought they were doing the right thing. At the time, though, it was hurtful, and I was angry and a little shocked. I thought we were friends!!!
Pride has a way of appearing where we least expect it. Shock, anger… guess who is there???
Pride.
How dare they do this to me after all I have done or been there for???
Pride.
That wasn’t handled Biblically, therefore I must be more spiritually mature??? Even if that IS the case… be careful, because…
PRIDE!
The one thing necessary to benefit from the grace of God is humility. (The opposite of pride!)
Maybe the reason we experience so little grace in this life is because we are still so full of ourselves, even when circumstances should’ve taught us to be abased.
Also, the reason we can’t seem to bestow the gift of grace on others is because of our enormous pride… our sin. That ugly sin of self-righteous pride and arrogance that keeps us from wanting to give grace as needed.
If you’re not careful, the cycle only continues to grow worse: They didn’t show me grace… they didn’t treat this situation correctly, so now, I will retaliate!!! I’m going to treat them accordingly. They had no grace, therefore, I have none to give them.
But that cannot continue in me. It wrecks my spirit with the Father. I feel His presence leave me, when I desire that type of vindication. So, what should you do when you’ve been betrayed? How should you navigate this and maintain that “right spirit”?
Pray for your “fr-enemies”. You never know if they may want to get this right between you two. Praying for them will keep that path to forgiveness wide open for both of you.
“You can be friendly, but you don’t have to be friends.” This was sound advice from my mama and it applies today. Treat everyone kindly, even if being close friends is out of the question at this point. You should always have the “law of kindness” on YOUR lips.
Keep the offense to yourself and move on. Bleeding out on friends, family and Facebook about it is not the way to show you are spiritually mature. In fact, it proves the opposite.
Use a little godly discretion. I can forgive a gossip, but I don’t turn around and share a private thought or conversation with them either. Or… perhaps a more judgmental sister is best loved at a distance so she won’t have the insider scoop on our family, our home life, etc. I have to be realistic about the faults of others and not give them the occasion to stumble or betray again. It’s called setting boundaries and having discretion.
Lastly, do a little self-check up, and make sure that you are not guilty of the same or similar behavior. BE REAL HONEST WITH YOURELF! Learn from this experience. How would God have you handle this situation if it were in reverse. One day, it may be! Make sure you grow from this and are better equipped for the future.